Wellbeing

How to deal with anger more effectively

Everyone gets angry. It is a natural human emotion, and a healthy response if channelled correctly. But anger can be destructive if it involves hurting another person through physical or verbal abuse, or if we let it fester.

Everyone gets angry. It is a natural human emotion, and a healthy response if channelled correctly. But anger can be destructive if it involves hurting another person through physical or verbal abuse, or if we let it fester.

“We hold on to anger in different ways. This manifests physically, particularly in the stomach, or bowel area,” says wellbeing expert Kirsten Riddle. “It can cause blockages in the aura, which means that the energy doesn’t flow correctly. So if you’re always feeling tired, this could because you’re letting anger rule your life,” she adds.

This type of emotion is often a reaction to feeling threatened, or because you are harbouring resentment or pain. So how do we deal with it in a positive way?

Release and upgrade

Therapist Sue Tribe believes that anger can be passed down the ancestral line as well as being held in the unconscious mind. Sue who uses a mixture of ‘trauma processing’ and constellations therapy, alongside shamanic healing and hypnotherapy, says that we should think of our minds and bodies like a computer.

“If someone in 2012 was using an old computer programme it would need several big upgrades to get it to a place where it could utilise today’s information. Our minds and bodies are similar,” she adds. “I help my clients recognise that what they are thinking and feeling is out of date or they will keep repeating negative behaviour. We need to update our way of thinking or we continue using old methods to process information and this can cause problems.”

What to do

When the red mist descends, Sue suggests using these coping strategies:

1 Take several deep breaths and focus on the exhale and the inhale. Become aware of how far you are breathing into your belly. Breath in and hold for two to three seconds and then exhale slowly. Some people find it useful to imagine their breath as a colour going around their body. When we are angry we shallow breathe so this technique helps you to calm down.

2 Remove yourself from the situation. Simple as it seems, when we fail to do this, things can escalate.

3 Go out and do something physical. This might be to walk, or running or just try jumping up and down on the spot. It helps disperse the chemicals building up in your muscles.

4 Remember that the emotion of anger will pass even if you don’t act on it.

5 Analyse your anger. Sometimes when we are angry it’s not with the person in front of us, but with someone else. The person we are getting angry at could be a reminder of someone else or another time when we felt a similar way. Often childhood hurts and humiliations get re-enacted as adults through anger.

6 Practice self-talk. This is a way of re-structuring negative thoughts by talking to yourself about how you could change the situation to create a positive outcome.

For more information on Sue Tribe check out her website nottinghamhypnotherapy.co.uk