Healthy ageing

Why So Serious?

Embrace joy and happiness by taking a lighter approach to life

If you’re the kind of person who likes inspirational quotes, you’ll probably have come across this one before: Dance like no-one is watching. And, although some may think it’s a bit cheesy, it’s advice that’s worth taking – the feeling of tapping your feet to the beat, throwing your arms around and letting go can be totally freeing and joy-inducing.

The problem is that nowadays many of us take ourselves too seriously to allow such an act of carefree, wild abandon. Weighed down by never-ending to-do lists, a rigid routine and the fear of looking silly (especially when everyone on social media appears so ‘put together’), the idea of letting go can seem a bit alien.

According to experts, however, it’s never been more important to embrace the fun in life.

“When we take a lighter approach, we are in a less stressful place and this means we can think clearly and be more creative and innovative,” explains Dr Lynda Shaw, a neuroscientist, psychologist and change specialist (drlyndashaw.com).

“On the flip side, taking ourselves seriously makes it hard to cope when things go wrong,” she adds. “When we are so focused on our goals and ideals and then we are knocked back by apparent failure, it’s all-consuming and can lead to complications and further setbacks. It also means that we may miss the wonderful things that are happening in our life.”

Taking a new approach

For Pascale Lane, a life coach and the author of How to be Happy in Life and Love: A guide to living the life you deserve (youfulfilled.co.uk), it’s about switching your mindset and looking at life differently.

“Our perspective and mindset are the biggest influence on how we go about, manage and succeed,” she explains. “When we are able to approach life fluidly and with a bit of fun, the energy around us shifts. The people around us respond to us differently and are warmer and more amenable. And this happens in all aspects of our life. When we see the fun and beauty in the world around us it magnifies.”

Of course, this is not to suggest that everything in life should be laughed at, or that we shouldn’t take important things seriously, more that we should embrace a sense of fun when we’re able to. According to wellbeing and personal development coach Helen Jennings (helenjenningscoaching.com), this allows us to reconnect with who we are deep down – and help in all aspects of our life.

“Living from our heart rather than our mind allows us to be more connected with what feels good for us and enables us to live our lives fully,” she explains. “We can see the beauty in the world and simple pleasures become meaningful.”

The benefits run deep – and studies suggest that enjoying a life full of joy can have an important impact on our physical as well as mental health. As Dr Shaw points out, laughter can improve cardiovascular health, lower heart rate, reduce muscular tension, control pain, lower blood pressure and burn calories. It may even improve our immune system by increasing our production of beta-endorphins.

And there are other advantages too – including a sense of looking and feeling younger than we are.

“When we don’t take ourselves so seriously, we relax our muscles, we’re less tense, our faces are softer, our eyes are clearer and we move in a more fluid way,” Dr Shaw explains. “Equally, the stress hormones and feel-good neurotransmitters are in far better balance which means that we feel happier, so therefore we look happier. In general, taking a lighter approach to life makes us feel more comfortable, shows confidence, makes us more positive and is linked to higher emotional intelligence.”

The research is certainly compelling. And so, perhaps it really is time to turn on that music and get dancing after all?

6 ways to see the lighter side of life

Embrace the joy around you with this advice from our experts

1. Be spontaneous

When you’ve got a lot on your plate, it can be hard to think outside your structured routine, but Pascale recommends making an exception every once in a while. “Try not to be so defined by timetables, and say yes more,” she advises. “Say yes when you’re invited out for lunch or dinner, or to the park for a walk after work. ”

2. Don’t dwell on things

“If things go wrong, learn and move on,” suggests Dr Shaw. “Try to avoid ruminating about how things could have been better or different. Being able to reframe a harmless but embarrassing event in a funny way or laugh something off with friends can act as an emotional filter by preventing spiralling, negative thoughts.”

3. Try something different

As we get older, we often get less adventurous, but trying something new can be the perfect way to reconnect with our sense of fun. “Write a list of the things that you would love to do but have never had the courage to,” Pascale says. “Do whatever it is that makes your heart happy.”

4. Practise gratitude

We often talk about the importance of being thankful, and this can help you focus on the things that bring you happiness. Helen suggests writing down three things you are grateful for every day. Remember the things that make you smile and laugh, and that remind you of the simple pleasures in life.

4. Be a child again

It’s hard not to be envious of the carefree joy displayed by young children. Watching them giggle and play with no reservation is definitely a lesson in how to look at the lighter side of life.

5. Laugh more

“Laughter is a wonderful natural antidote to being bogged down with stress and anxiety and can improve self-esteem,” says Dr Shaw. “Surround yourself with people who you have fun with or who make you laugh and be that for them too.”