Preparing yourself mentally for Christmas day is just as important as setting up the tree and dinner table, says Emma Cannon
Christmas is a magical time of the year, yet for some it can bring deep-rooted emotional pain to the surface. Last month I talked about emotional triggers, and triggers are to Christmas what cheese is to pickle, or chestnuts are to sprouts. They tend to go hand-in-hand.
It is said that our nearest and dearest offer us the greatest opportunity for spiritual growth – and if we are able to grow and learn from one another from a place of love, then we will heal and grow through these relationships.
During childhood we learn certain coping mechanisms to help us stay attached to our parents. Attachment is very important in our formative years as it keeps us safe and is part of our survival instinct. But as we go through childhood, we learn to adapt our behaviour to fit into the family environment, so we forgo our authentic self in order to remain attached to our caregivers.
But what has all this got to do with Christmas? Well, when we are around family all the old wounds have a tendency to open up again. Have you ever noticed that when you are around family you slip into old patterns? Perhaps you revert back to the stroppy teenager you once were, or become withholding or argumentative. Despite all your best intentions you end up in the same old dynamics.
This Christmas, I’d like to invite you to do a little internal preparation for the big day. So much attention is given to the outer trappings, such as the tinsel, the presents and the food. All of this is lovely and symbolic and important, but it’s just as key to spend a little time on the inner prep.
Ingredients for surviving christmas
To help you enjoy a calm and happy festive season, there are some key things that need to feature…
Personal responsibility: Remember that no one is responsible for your happiness. Whatever has occurred in our lives it is vital we take full responsibility for our own feelings. No one is responsible for the way we feel, not our parents, partners or siblings. If we take this on board and avoid the blame game, then we will not be looking for others to complete us and we will be happier for it.
Compassion: Cultivate a practice of compassion and show it to yourself and others.
Rest: Take adequate time to relax. It is important that you use your break to recuperate and rest.
Nature: Try to get outside throughout the festive season. Go for a walk and clear the air.
Distance from the past: Don’t get drawn into past hurts or wounds – focus on the present instead.
Non-alcoholic alternatives: Not everyone is a good drunk. Know your limits.
Emma is an integrated women’s health expert, registered acupuncturist and author emmacannon.co.uk
