Wellbeing

Mindfulness: meditations and techniques for calm

Hints and tips on mindfulness and how to practise mindfulness every day.

How to practise mindfulness

Advocates believe mindfulness can help alleviate a variety of mental and physical conditions. But it is not just a medicine for hard times. More profoundly, it’s a way of living for all, enriching every moment of our lives, whether at work, on holiday or in the bath.

Mindfulness techniques have the capacity to enrich and transform your life. But how do you actually do it? Best-selling author Simon Parke reveals all.

Stop thinking and focus on breathing

What does mindfulness mean? Simply, mindfulness encourages us to stop taking our thoughts seriously. It invites us to stop wandering off into the past or the future.

Instead, we stop thinking and focus on our breathing. We’re quiet, present and watch our thoughts as they arise. Soon, we become aware of the mad restlessness and capricious nature of our minds; and, in time, we begin to take our thoughts less seriously.

This is liberating, as we have been their unquestioning slave for too long. Our thoughts do not always offer us the ‘reality’ we imagine.

Explore your feelings

Mindfulness makes explorers of us, and like all explorers we will have to be brave if we wish to discover new lands. Mindfulness asks a hard question of us: are you willing to experience openly what makes you unhappy?

We tend to shy away from this because the thought of it scares us. And, of course, this is why we became unhappy in the first place, because we were scared. But if we are willing to face things, we will discover a fresh knowing; virgin territory, which restores happiness. If we are not willing to face things, then, sadly, we continue to walk the same mental circles we have always walked. There is great courage in mindfulness.

Seize the present moment

Mindfulness is concerned with the present; with keeping your consciousness alive to the present moment.

This may appear a simple task, but is harder than it sounds. Most of the time, our minds are either taking us back into the past or into the imaginary future. To help us to engage with the present moment, mindful breathing is a great help; unlike our mind, our breathing is always in the present. So becoming aware of your breathing is a wonderful start to becoming present.

Become more present

We are also helped into the present by noticing things. If we’re turning a key in a lock, we notice we are turning a key in a lock; if we’re walking down the street, we notice the shifting cloud formations or the negative feelings arising in us towards a car driver.

It’s about noticing what’s happening now. When we make a cup of tea or do the washing-up without thinking of what we are going to do next, then we are mindful. We are happier when we notice the present and let the future take care of itself.

Protect your inner peace

Add a tablespoon of salt to a glass of water and it makes a significant difference. The same spoon of salt added to a jug of water makes some difference to the taste. Add it to a lake, however, and it hardly affects anything.

Mindfulness makes us larger containers. This happens as we remove from ourselves all the clutter of past and future concerns. In the present, we have endless inner space, which is a great step towards happiness.

Difficult emotions, like salt, may remain, but their power to affect us is diffused. Previously they could ruin our day, but now they can barely ruin five minutes.

Achieve peace of mind

Our judgments of others arise in direct proportion to our self-judgment. But as we allow ourselves to notice self-judgment, we also allow ourselves to be free of it.

People at peace are those who both see and accept the truth of who they are, rather than avoiding it and blaming someone else. Such people are less likely to find fault with others, which diminishes us and them, and is always a waste of our time.

Question negative thoughts

We are shaped by what we do with our negative experiences. Depression, for instance, is a turning away from experience in order to avoid emotional pain. Mindfulness doesn’t stop negative thoughts or feelings, but does help us to question their believability. Are these negative feelings quite as solid as they appear? Life is all in the perception; how we perceive events.

Mindfulness practice creates in us a sense of water flowing, things passing through, rather than hard blocks of ice inside us, solid and immovable.

Take responsibility for your mindful meditation practice

No one can eat lunch for you, and no one can be mindful for you. It’s your work, and your wonder.

Be open-minded

You cannot be mindful while holding on to your opinions. That’s like trying to keep dry by jumping into the sea.

Accept your emotions

As you get in touch with your breathing, thoughts will arise in you, unbidden. Don’t censor them, whatever their nature, but rather allow them all.

In accepting them, you accept yourself. If you censor emotions as they appear, they will bury themselves even deeper within you and you’ll never discover anything you didn’t know already.

If you allow everything, it may well be that you meet what is making you unhappy, but this is good. How can you say ‘goodbye’ to it until you’ve said ‘hello’?

Daily mindful meditation practice

While many of us know that mindfulness is a great way to reduce anxiety and stress, it can be a struggle to find time to build it into our already hectic schedules. Here’s a simply mindful daily routine to practise yourself!

7AM: a bathing ritual

Having a bath or shower in the morning is often one precious time in the day when we have a few minutes to ourselves. So, rather than immediately thinking about the day ahead when you strip off, take five or 10 minutes to focus on and enjoy the ancient ritual of bathing. Feel the warmth of the water on your skin, listen to the sound of it pouring out of the shower head or into the bathtub, breathe in the lovely aroma of the products you’re using and think of the flowers these remind you of.

8.30AM: a stress-relieving walking meditation

If you’re walking the dog, use his ‘sniffing stops’ to absorb the scenery around you. Look at the patterns on the leaves, the mushrooms sprouting from tree bark, the spider’s web covered in dew. Listen to the birds singing and the wind in the trees. What other noises, smells and sights are there? If you’re walking a little one to school, stop for a minute or two and get them to join in. It’s essential to introduce stress-relieving techniques to children at an early age so that they grow up happy and healthy.

10.30AM: a soothing drink

Now it’s time for a break with a warm beverage of your choice. Close your eyes and wrap both hands around the mug, focusing on the warmth radiating through the cup into your hands. Pay attention and breathe deeply for a couple of minutes. Take a sip and really savour the taste. Continue to slowly sip the drink, focusing on how it makes you feel and how much you enjoy it.

12.30PM: a mindful movement and mindfulness body scan

After savouring your food at lunch to practise mindful eating, spend a few minutes doing a mindfulness exercise. Sit quietly with your eyes shut and breathe slowly. Pick one part of your body to focus on. Let’s say it’s your feet on the floor. Pour all of your awareness right down into the soles of your feet. What’s the sensation there? Are your feet resting on the floor lightly or are they pressing against it? Now wiggle your toes and notice how the sensation changes.

Are you wearing socks? If so, can you feel the fabric against your feet? Simply focus on what you’re feeling.

2.30PM: mindfulness for anxiety

As the day progresses and our brains start to get tired, mindfulness can help us stay sharp. Through the afternoon, set an alarm on your phone for every hour. When it rings, stop and focus on your breathing rather than the thoughts and to-do lists in your head, for one minute. Pay attention to the inhalation and exhalation of your breath.

4.30PM: embrace the quietude

As the workday comes to an end and you start your commute home, turn off your phone or the radio and simply be. Let go of any thoughts and focus on your breath. Doing so will allow you to let go of the stresses of the day so you can be fully present when you arrive home.

6.00PM: mindful eating

Start by being mindful as you prepare your meal. Notice the textures, smells, sights and sounds as you peel, chop and cook. Sit down to eat and savour your food. Turn off the TV and any music. Put away your phone and laptop – tune out everything but your connection with the food you are eating. Take a bite and notice the temperature, the texture and all the different flavours. Be aware of how the food feels on your fork, then how it feels in your mouth. When you’ve finished eating, become aware of your body and notice any feelings of fullness.

9.00PM: wind-down mindfulness for sleep

Take a moment before going to bed to appreciate something good that has happened in the day. It feels nice and immediately brings the mind into the present, even if we are thinking about something that’s happened earlier today or something on our to-do list for tomorrow. This is an ideal mindfulness meditation for sleep.

I know this might all seem ridiculously simple, but that’s because it is! It’s the mind that complicates things. Choosing to pay attention to how you’re feeling in the moment is a crucial first step to living mindfully. When we’re fully present, we’re better communicators, less reactive, and more responsive to the people around us. We’re also more in touch with how we feel and what we need.

Stress relief mindful meditation: body scanning

Research has shown that performing a 20-minute body scan meditation each day could significantly reduce biological and psychological stress hormones in the body. “Body scanning is a sensory exercise where you mentally draw attention to each area of your body, and note any sensations or feelings as you go,” explains leading UK psychotherapist, hypnotherapist and body language expert Nick Davies, who uses the technique with patients in his practice. “It creates a mindful awareness not normally present, so if I said how warm is your left foot? your attention would be drawn there now, in the present.”

Vipassana: mindfulness meditations

Originally used in Eastern spiritual practices, the body scan is often used in Buddhist, vipassana, or mindfulness meditations. More recently it has been adopted by mainstream practitioners of CBT and mindfulness therapies to help bring sufferers of depression, stress and anxiety back to the present moment.

So how does it work? “It’s a bit like a mental X-ray that slowly travels across your body,” says Iona Russell, hypnotherapist, life coach and author of Making Waves – a self-help guide to becoming unstuck. “Sometimes you can be so caught up in your stress, that you don’t realise that the physical pain you’re experiencing – such as headaches, back and shoulder pain, and tense muscles – is connected to your emotional state.

Developing greater awareness of bodily sensations can help you feel more connected to your physical self and help you gain greater insight into potential causes of unwanted feelings. The goal is not to relieve the pain completely, but to get to know it and learn from it, so you can better manage it.”

Deep breathing technique

When we’re stressed or anxious, as well as tensing our muscles, our breathing tends to be faster and shallower, we sometimes even hold our breath for short periods without realising it, which all has an impact on our overall wellbeing – think of how your body feels after a stressful day at work, or a sleepless night; that’s often when we notice stiffness or pain. “When we hold our breath, it can result in oxygen not getting to the parts of the body it needs to,” says Iona, “And this often results in high anxiety or stress held within the body. By mentally scanning yourself and breathing into different parts of your body, you are bringing greater awareness to every single part of your body, noticing any aches, pains, tension, or general discomfort.”

The importance of being calm

You don’t need any training to perform a body scan on yourself, but Nick advises against trying it when you’re angry, upset, anxious or feeling in a low mood. “The best time to practise is when you’re relaxed,” he says, “as stress and anxiety can give false signals. Calmness is the key.”

If you suffer with insomnia, Iona recommends trying the body scan before bed. “It can help you relax and unwind from all the stress of the day,” she says, “or if you don’t have a lot of time, you can do an abbreviated version of a body scan meditation by just sitting and noticing any place in your body that you’re carrying tension, rather than moving from part to part. This will become easier for you the more you practise.”

Consider a mindfulness journal

While body scan meditation involves little risk, Iona warns that mindfulness meditation can sometimes worsen depression or anxiety. “If you notice dark, unwanted thoughts or emotions, check in with a therapist before continuing,” she says. “The most important thing here is remaining open to what your body has to tell you. It can be helpful to keep a journal of your body scan meditation, making a small entry each time you practise. Jotting down what you experienced or how you felt before and after can provide helpful insight. Remember to be gentle and kind with yourself. This is not a forum for self-criticism or negative self-talk. Accept what is, and know that pain, tension and discomfort are impermanent. There is joy in the fact that you are taking this time to strengthen your relationship with yourself.”

Body scan meditation

1. Find a quiet space without any distractions, and sit or lie down comfortably.

2. Close your eyes and bring awareness to the body, calmly breathing in and out. Notice the feeling of your body against the bed, floor or seat. Where can you feel pressure? What does it feel like? Allow yourself to sink into the surface, feeling the weight of your body being supported.

3. Whilst continuing to breathe deeply and evenly, draw your attention to your toes, notice any sensations. Do you feel heaviness or lightness, tingling or tightness, coolness or warmth? Ask yourself: what is this sensation trying to communicate with me? You may notice nothing at all, if that happens, acknowledge that, too, and move on with your scan without concern or judgement.

4. Systematically work your way up your body, focusing your full attention on each area as you go. Spend as long as you need to, paying attention to how each body part feels.

5. Be curious and open to what you are experiencing, intentionally releasing one body part before moving onto the next.

6. You may notice your attention starts to wander. Over time, you will be able to hold your attention for longer periods of time, but for now, simply acknowledge that your attention has wandered and bring it back, gently and kindly, to the present moment.

7. When you’ve reached the end of your body scan, spend a few moments breathing and feeling your body as a whole, with each deep breath you take.

8. Open your eyes and slowly begin to move your body bit by bit, as you move into the present moment.

Easy ways to be more mindful

We’re all aware of the health benefits of mindfulness, but how do we incorporate it easily into our lives? Mindful people don’t just sit about under trees meditating, they live in the ‘now’ and create intention in every moment of the day. Try practising some of these successful habits of highly mindful people and you’ll soon be on the road to inner peace and contentment.

Breathe deeply

Highly mindful people are conscious of their breathing and how it affects their health and wellbeing, explains mindfulness coach Alfred James. “Yoga teachings say that the longer the breath, the longer you live. Inhale and slowly count to three, then exhale and do the same again. Employ your entire torso – your nostrils, throat, collarbones, ribcage and diaphragm. Feel the rush of fresh, oxygenated blood fill you with renewed life.”

Spend time in nature

Getting outside and soaking up the beauty of Mother Nature is one of the most powerful things you can do to bring yourself into the ‘now’ and give yourself a renewed sense of wonder in the world. Studies have shown that walking in the countryside or by the sea helps you to reach a meditative state, while research suggests that being outdoors can bring anxiety relief, relieve stress, and improve your energy levels, memory and attention.

Pay attention to one thing at a time

The highly mindful don’t try to multitask. They focus fully on each task with complete awareness, one by one, moment by moment. They also take breaks before transitioning to another exercise. “Studies have found that when people are dividing their attention, it takes them 50 percent longer to accomplish a task and they’re 50 percent more likely to make errors,” explains mindfulness teacher Melli O’Brien.

Approach every day with curiosity

“Being mindful in day-to-day life entails non-judgemental observation of the details – whether it’s watching every inhalation and exhalation during meditation, bringing your entire attention to washing the dishes, or really enjoying a good meal,” says clinical psychologist Elisha Goldstein of the Centre for Mindful Living. Take some inspiration from the small things in life and open your eyes to universal beauty.

Get creative

Forms of art such as music and writing have been shown to decrease stress and anxiety, and can get you into a flow state of heightened awareness and consciousness. If you want to become more mindful, just throw yourself into your favourite creative practice; whether that’s painting, writing, baking, dancing or even just singing in the shower, and see how your thoughts quieten down.

Practise gratitude

Mindful people always remember to celebrate the moment. “Be grateful when you’re performing a new habit, and you’ll stick to it longer,” says mindfulness teacher Leo Babuta of Zen Habits. “Be grateful when you’re with someone, and you’ll be happier with them. Life is amazing, if you learn to appreciate it.”

Separate your thoughts from your emotions

“Mindfulness isn’t about being perpetually happy. It’s about the complete acceptance of the present moment as it is,” says Melli. “That means feeling what is here to be felt in this moment, without trying to resist or control it.” Even highly mindful people feel difficult emotions, such as anger, sadness and fear sometimes, but what sets them apart is that they don’t try to avoid or deny these emotions. They acknowledge what they’re feeling. They know that emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant, come and go as a natural part of life.

Accept the ebb and flow of life

Understanding that nothing is permanent and everything changes is one of the key habits of mindful people. “When we close our eyes and listen, we hear how sounds appear and disappear,” says Elisha. “We’re born on this earth, we grow up and eventually pass away. As we practise mindfulness, we come to understand this and in this way, life becomes increasingly precious.” This change in mindset is key to the practice of sophrology, which teaches that we are responsible for our experiences, and how we respond to situations.

7 habits of mindful people

Mindfulness may seem mystifying if you haven’t heard of it before, but it’s been practised for thousands of years. “It’s a quality that everybody already possesses, so you should try harnessing the ability to use it effectively, rather than thinking you need to try and learn a new core skill,” says Kate Binnie, registered mindfulness teacher and co-creator of Natia. “We’re so consumed with the pressures of everyday life, that we forget to pause, collect our thoughts and simply be.” But, if we’re just beginning our journey into the realm of mindfulness, what can we learn from the people who practise it regularly? To find out, we chatted to the experts.

Mindful people don’t multitask

Doing a million things at once has been proven to slow down your productivity and lower the quality of your work, according to studies done by the University of Stanford. “Ensure that your attention has a sole focus,” says Kate. “Commit your energy to the task in hand. Even if it’s for a short period of time, try not to let it divert to something else. Making a conscious effort to channel your focus in a particular direction and bringing your wandering mind back to the present moment will have long-term benefits, such as regulating your emotions and boosting concentration.”

TIP: While it’s all well and good trying to eradicate distractions, the best thing you can do to help you keep your brain focused is observe the urge that it has to move onto something different, and redirect your attention back to the task at hand. It may take a few times before you get the hang of it, but persevere.

They allow themselves to rest

Being mindful means we’re considerate of both our body and mind, so if you’re keen to prioritise your wellbeing, consider peppering your weekly routine with rest bites. Schedule time out to disconnect from the busy world and it will help to reframe your outlook.

TIP: “Taking a warm bath with magnesium flakes or massaging a topical oil into your skin is a relaxing way to remineralise and could help you to find your ‘zen’,” says Keeley Berry, nutritional and mindfulness expert at Better You.

The mindful stick to a routine

Not only does establishing a routine help to provide a sense of stability and continuity in your life, it can provide relief from everyday stresses and concerns. Whether it’s practising meditation first thing, making your bed, or having your morning tea at the same time each day, our routines help us build momentum to carry us through even the most difficult days.

TIP: Struggling to establish a routine? One of the best ways to start is to add small tasks that can be done in small windows of time. “Choosing your clothing or preparing meals ahead of time at the start of your week will help you to feel more in control and enjoy the moment,” says Keeley.

They pay attention to colour

Research shows our colour choices can impact our emotions, and that choosing the right shade can boost our self-esteem. According to a study done by the University of Cyprus, bold colours such as red and purple can make you feel enthusiastic and energised, whereas pink can help you be more compassionate. Shades of green can help you feel balanced, whereas blue can help you settle your nerves.

TIP: Once you’ve decided what you want to wear, mindfully ask what it is you love about your outfit. Is it the colours, or do you like the way it fits? This will help you bring awareness back to your decision-making.

Mindful people don’t pay too much attention to social media

It can be easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of social media, but mindful people are far more aware of their ‘ego’ and how it can manifest online. Rather than comparing yourself to others and perfecting your feed, try to make your social media presence more about community and connecting with other like-minded people.

TIP: Make sure that you try and take a step back from social media regularly, and when you do choose to use it, remind yourself of your social media ego and soul, and make an effort to balance them out.

They’re not afraid to give things a go

Curiosity and trying new things is a huge part of mindfulness. “Mindfulness is a personal, individual experience and there is no ‘one-size-fits-all’ approach,” explains Kate.

TIP: “Meditation techniques such as sitting meditation don’t suit everyone; try mindful gardening, washing up, walking or cooking,” says Kate. “Do whatever it is that you enjoy. There are a variety of meditation apps available to support individuals.” Try Headspace, Buddhify or Calm, available on the app store.

The mindful are comfortable in silence

A study done in 2016 by the Public Library of Science showed that noise negatively affects our focus and sleep, as well as increasing our body’s production of stress hormones.
TIP: Those who meditate or pray regularly reap the health benefits of relaxation, but a simple way to get more silence into your life can be to rise early and enjoy a morning meditation, or go to bed later. The world is much quieter when people are sleeping.