Wellbeing

5 steps to a better life

Achieve your full potential with personal transformation expert Joanne Reeves-Baker

1. Watch your words

The way that we speak to ourselves has a huge impact on our lives and wellbeing. Imagine how lonely we’d be if we criticised our friends in the way we can get angry at ourselves. If you’re capable of showing affection and giving praise to others, then you’re able to do it for yourself too. Mind your inner language and you’ll reap the rewards. Create affirmations for the state you want to be in. Really get excited about this new you and bring it in to the present. Say it and say it with feeling as if what you want, you have right now.

2. Change the link

We can adopt unhealthy habits because we associate them with a loved one or a personal hero – think of our cherished grandparents or Hollywood idols who baked cakes or smoked cigarettes. Perhaps we link ‘party food’ with happy moments. Psychodynamic hypnosis empowers us to look at the association in a brand new way. We can do that right now by looking more closely. Is the real happiness in sharing those moments with friends and family? Is it acceptance and being part of a tribe? What ways could you generate those emotions without the toxic accompaniments? How can you bring more camaraderie and laughter in to your life? We may not even realise that the unhealthy habit is our way of being closer to a person or an event that we have loved and lost. You may be holding on to the sleep patterns and alcohol consumption of your student days because life was more fun back then. You can move on to a better you. What is it that those people loved? If your grandmother loved roses, hone in on how they remind you of her. Then give yourself the gift of freshly cut roses when you want to feel that closeness. Those student habits? It may be the freedom and the carefree attitude that you’re missing. Look at ways in which you can bring these aspects in to your present day life.

3. Victim to leader

If we feel intimidated by our boss or groups of people, or we somehow feel the victim in certain situations, we can go back in time to when we first felt like that. Sadly, so many of us may have been bullied at school, or had overbearing carers or teachers and it has left its mark. We have the power to change it now, by delving in to Jungian archetypes, accessing the different personalities in our psyche. Go back to a time in your mind when you felt very intimidated and bring in a protector. Who or what this is, is up to you. It could be a great big dog. You can rewrite the situation in your mind, psychodynamically. It may be that you end up with a gang of people coming to you for protection. This process will impact on everything in your life, altering the way your mind responds to events as you move from victim to leader.

4. Explore your emotions

Get a journal, and mark down ages in your life when key events took place – both the traumatic and positive. Look to see when problems started and especially track back and notice if there are any common themes. You may want to look back and see what was going on in your life up to six months before each key event. This will illuminate reasons behind your behaviour. Really start to pay attention to what is happening in your dreams too. The secret is to look into the symbols – they might be candles, stars, food or animals, for example, and explore your personal associations with those symbols. You might link birds with freedom. Write down how you’re feeling and explore it. It may be that you think you’re angry but actually you’re sad.

5. Take self care seriously

Decide that you’re going to look after yourself, immediately. This will send a powerful message to your mind that whatever has happened before now, you’re taking a stand as an adult that you’re absolutely worth looking after, right now. This means upgrading your nutrition and the way you nourish your soul. Do exercise that actually makes you smile but do move more. Get excited about life and treat yourself more. Make some time for yourself and acknowledge how incredible you are and that you deserve better, in this very moment.