Got the Sunday evening blues? Don’t look for a new job, just change the one you’ve got, says top life coach Blaire Palmer
Got the Sunday evening blues? Don’t look for a new job, just change the one you’ve got, says top life coach Blaire Palmer
Alright, SEB isn’t a real syndrome. But the symptoms may be familiar. Even if you are in your dream job, there are no doubt some aspects of your working life which probably don’t work terribly well for you. Maybe it is your commute, or your colleagues, your boss or the fact that you can’t open the window in your office to get any fresh air. Most of us tolerate these minor irritations at work and some of us tolerate more significant frustrations. So why not make this the year to do something about it?
Of course, one of your resolutions might be to find a new job. A new job can present you with an opportunity to grow, to learn new skills, to take on more responsibility and, maybe, add to the size of your pay packet. Most of us are motivated by the opportunity to advance in our careers and ‘stretching’ is good for our sense of wellbeing. If the day job is getting a little stagnant or you feel ready to put yourself to the test with some new challenges, the new year presents a great trigger to make a significant change.
The new year presents a great trigger to make a significant change.
However, if you are simply hoping to leave behind some of the frustrations you experience every day at work, you may be disappointed. Having spent the last decade working as an executive coach I can tell you that many of the frustrations you experience will crop up in your new company too – the endless, waste-of-time meetings; poor leadership; the factions and politics; confusion about what your priorities should be every day; and the general sense that not every decision is completely fair. So does this mean you are doomed to experience SEB for the rest of your working days? I don’t think so. A far more uplifting New Year’s resolution might be to make work work much better for you without changing your job. And you don’t need to be the chief executive or even have a seat at the boardroom table to influence how your company is run. All you need to do is focus some of your energy on changing one or two aspects of work for the benefit of your own working life, and perhaps the knock-on benefit to your colleagues. Read on to find out how to do it.
Meaning
Given how many hours of our life we spend at work, it should have some meaning to us. Even if your job doesn’t involve saving the world, it is good to know that your daily toil matters. Consider who your job matters to. Is it your customers? Your colleagues? Or even your boss? When you do a bad job, who suffers? And who is helped on your good days? It may not be obvious but if you can’t see anyone who benefits from what you do all day, it isn’t surprising if you are feeling a little low. There is a story of a janitor at NASA being asked by the then president of the USA, John F Kennedy, what his job was. His reply was that he was putting a man on the moon. What could your reply be?
Leadership
About one quarter of people merely tolerate or actively dislike their boss and perhaps you feel this way about yours. Of course, you might be a manager yourself, wondering if this statistic applies to you. You aren’t going to be everyone’s best friend and you aren’t going to like everyone you work with. But getting to know how your team members or your manager tick is a way to improve your relationships and get more enjoyment from going to work. Accept that you can’t change their personality. Instead, seek to understand how you can complement each other. For instance, if you are not terribly well organised but know a colleague who is, ask for their help in exchange for helping them with something you enjoy. If one of your direct reports shows aptitude with creativity, give her projects which make the most of this. The more you understand yourself and others the more you can get from those around you… and yourself.
Politics
Some forms of politics are bad for business. Back-stabbing, briefing against colleagues and manipulating people are generally considered unacceptable (although, obviously, they go on). However, it might be time to open yourself up to the possibility of ‘good politics’. This means getting things done by influencing different populations. The people with the most influence are those who are most well-known. They may not be the most talented, the most intelligent or the most well-informed, but they get results. Start extending your network. Get to know people in other teams or other parts of the business. You’ll find many who become genuine friends. And, even those who you don’t connect with immediately, may see some mutual advantage in maintaining links. What’s more, if you are well-connected, you’ll always have someone to sit with at lunchtime.
Fairness
Campaigning for transparent decision making or better recruitment policies or equal opportunities can give you a huge sense of achievement and, of course, benefit a huge number of other people. However, it is just as important to look at ourselves and double check that our own behaviour is fair. Ghandi said: “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony”. If you are unsure, ask yourself whether you would mind if your actions were printed in the national press. If you could not justify the decisions you’ve taken – given that you are often choosing between a rock and a hard place – you may need to rethink your position.
Meetings
Meetings are the most common complaint when I speak to my clients and yet few companies do anything to make them work better. One option available to you is to ask yourself whether you add value or get value by being there. If not, there is a good argument to say you aren’t needed. If this isn’t an option, be a little selfish and consider what you need to get from the meetings you go to in order for that time to be useful. Maybe they offer a good opportunity to network. Maybe you can learn more about the business if you listen more closely (even if the information seems irrelevant to you right now). Maybe you can affect the agenda so that your priorities are addressed. If you are feeling really bold, you can offer to chair the meeting yourself or suggest rotating the chairing of the meeting to freshen up the session. The sense of achievement is good for the soul.
Any of these five areas would make a great place to start if you want to make the workplace work better for the good of your colleagues and your own sense of fulfilment. But whatever you resolve to do differently in the year ahead, I recommend you start today. Instead of complaining about it, or hoping a change of job will solve your problems for you, take a bold, decisive action right now.
Blaire Palmer is a top life coach, her new book What’s Wrong with Work? The Five Frustrations of Work and How to Fix Them for Good, is published by John...
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Blaire Palmer is a top life coach, her new book What’s Wrong with Work? The Five Frustrations of Work and How to Fix Them for Good, is published by John...
Discover more
By Blaire Palmer
