Wellbeing

Barefoot Doctor – 6 Ways to Survive Christmas

The UK’s leading Taoist master on how to handle the angst of the festive season.

The UK’s leading Taoist master on how to handle the angst of the festive season.
I’m writing this for all the people who have Christmas anxiety, by which I mean the fear of having to sit with family where feuds are latent, the fear of being all alone and miserable, the fear of alienation, the fear of having to spend loads of money you haven’t got, and so on.

At first glance, to any reasonable mind, it’s ridiculous that we ascribe such significance and importance to just one day, which comes and goes like any other day and that we spend so much hard-to-come-by money and generate such pressure around it.

But in fact Christmas has its origins far back in time, way before Christianity was even thought of. It was originally the winter solstice festival, the ‘festival of lights’, which began around 21st December. The feast went on for five days, which is why 25th December was the grand finale.

All the clans would gather and share the meats they’d saved, burn fires, get drunk, consume psychotropic mushrooms and generally get as high as kites. If you weren’t part of that, you’d probably die. You needed to be with the clan to survive in those days.

And the memory, though entirely unconscious these days, is hardwired into our deepest circuitry, into our genetic memory boards. So though there’s no rational reason why anyone in their right mind might waste even an ounce of energy stressing about something as patently banal and incongruent as the modern-day style of Christmas festivities, the deeper primordial circuit boards nonetheless react in a profound way – profoundly enough to make even the most balanced person feel at least a modicum of unnecessary stress.

Just understanding this helps reduce to Christmas stress, but following are six steps to specifically dispel the various types of festive blues.

1. Feuding families

This is a radical reframe exercise, which at first may seem ridiculous, but it works if you can stretch your imagination enough. On the premise that each of us is actually a human expression of the ineffable presence informing the universe – or what the Buddhists would call a Buddha – and that the way someone shows up to you, is merely the surface disguise they wear to play their role in the cosmic drama, see everyone round the table as the Buddha. Understand that all the bickering, or potential bickering, is all just surface drama being acted out unwittingly. Then do some magic. Imagine you have x-ray specs on and can see right through the extremely clever disguise of everyone to the Buddha within and intend for a healing outcome to occur by divine surprise – just ask for it. Then wait, and within no more than minutes if you do it right, something incredible will happen.

2. Being alone

Quantum physicists have determined that the entire universe is conscious – one huge universal mind. Assume that’s so and attune to the connectedness of all things and people and to the presence informing them/us all and know therefore that you’re never alone. Also, understand that just because the majority is falling trance-like into a standardised Christmas pattern of behaviour, you’re not a loser for not being part of the trance this year. Use the time to actively create the life and specifically the personal and social life you want. Create the sort of Christmas you’d like for next year – write it down.

3. Money worries

Obviously on a practical level, make a budget and stick to it – don’t fall into the trap of assuming the amount spent equals the amount of love you have to share or are wanting to convey. A dear, late friend of mine who gave not a fig for middle class values, nor what people thought of him in any way, never gave anyone among his family or friends Christmas or birthday presents. However, he was incredibly generous at random times, buying unexpected gifts that would surprise and delight the receiver – and he was one of the most popular, well-loved and respected men I ever knew. Giving a small gift from the heart, even if it only cost a couple of pounds, will have more loveimpact on the receiver than giving an expensive gift merely out of a mistaken sense of duty.

4. Fear of alienation

Firstly, know you’re not a freak. Everyone feels alienated at some level of their being, almost all the time. There’s a sense of being a loser if you’re feeling alienated, but this derives entirely from mistakenly believing yourself to be in some sort of competition. Rather than seeing yourself in a race you have to keep up with, see yourself as someone who creates your own reality. Through visualising it clearly enough, manifest a reality in which you are deeply connected to those around you, engaged in a network of love-filled relationships and fully included in every way. Also, remember that being a fully-fledged part of any community depends on what you contribute. Look at your unique gifts and what you want to contribute. This could be your warmth, support, humour, love or whatever. Simply intend to give your unique gifts and the rest will fall into place ofitself. People will instinctively feel your intention and want to include you. Then, visualise yourself giving and receiving the very most, and in no time you’ll be feeling fully part of the human dance.

5. Taking stock of life

Any annual landmark in time, such as Christmas or birthdays, serves as a potent reference point and is bound to elicit floods of childhood memories, along with all the latent regrets, misgivings, lamentations and doubts about the future based on the past thatthese trigger. To counter the downward pull of this, list everything you’ve achieved during the course of the year – even the really small or obvious stuff like getting out of bed or simply managing to stay alive – and congratulate yourself for each. This will instantly lift your self-esteem levels.

6. Stress in general

Regardless of the season, stress, no matter its cause psychologically or emotionally, lodges as tension in the muscles. Release it here and it releases itself from your mind spontaneously. One excellent shorthand way to achieve this is to gently tense and then relax all the muscles of your body, from head to toe, three times. Then stop holding your breath and breathe freely, deeply and smoothly in your belly. After about nine breathing cycles all your stress, whether it be about Christmas or anything else, will have evaporated into thin air.

Article by

Barefoot Doctor

Tao Master

Barefoot Doctor is a leading tao master and has written numerous books including the cult classic Handbook for the Urban Warrior. His latest book is called The Man Who Drove...

Discover more

Article by

Barefoot Doctor

Tao Master

Barefoot Doctor is a leading tao master and has written numerous books including the cult classic Handbook for the Urban Warrior. His latest book is called The Man Who Drove...

Discover more