It’s of the utmost importance to protect our sacred space from negative people, but what if we’re the ones draining others? Here, holistic healer Alla Syirnskaya tells us how to stabilise and balance our energy
Energy vampires are people who feed off the energy of others in a parasitic way, but it’s important that we all recognise our own tendencies towards energy vampirism. Doing so will enable us to own our energy more effectively and take personal responsibility for ourselves and our behaviour. It can be tempting to tell ourselves that we’re the good ones and that we need to be wary of external forces – but that’s not always how it works. We all encounter situations in which we could slip into becoming an energy vampire, even if it’s short‑lived. It’s not a case of being perfect while everyone else is in the wrong, or acting like a spiritual snob.
How to avoid being an energy vampire
We’ve all done it – after a terrible day at work, we’ve gone home and taken out our frustration on our partner or our children. Or we’ve felt exhausted on our way to see a friend, and once we were with them, we used their energy to perk ourselves up. So it’s important to think about the state of your energy before you make contact with others, whether it’s face-to-face, in a phone call, online or in any other way. You must protect your personal space but also be careful that you don’t pollute and damage other people’s space. This is all part of living authentically.
We need to be aware of the way we’re living and of our inner balance, and we must also protect the inner balance of the people around us.
Stabilise your energy
Since ancient times, spiritual masters have believed that the world is composed of the four basic elements of fire, earth, air and water. These energetic forces of nature were viewed as governing parts of the universe and everything in it, including humans. It was said that all four of these forces must be balanced so that the fifth spiritual element of ether, known as prana in India, or as I like to call it, the ‘life force’, can manifest itself. The next time you’re feeling deflated and find yourself tempted to use someone as your energy charger, or you’re venting negativity and trying to treat others as a rubbish bin for your bad day, try stabilising yourself in a healthy way by using the following tools, which harness the qualities of fire, earth, air and water. In the same way that you’d reach for a broom immediately after making a mess in the home, you can use these elemental tools as a form of energy hygiene for yourself and your environment. You can also use them as first aid immediately after a negative energy exchange.
Reset your energy
Alla explains how you can calm and clear your energy in order to prevent yourself from becoming an energy vampire
Step 1: Find your element First of all choose the element that resonates most strongly with you at the moment. We all have one dominant element within ourselves, and you can use the questions below to establish which is yours. Please note that your resonance with the elements can change throughout your life, so don’t automatically choose one without considering the others too.
Fire
• Are you enthusiastic, optimistic and passionate?
• Do you love gazing into an open fire?
• Do you enjoy basking in full sunshine and always turn up the central heating?
Earth
• Are you grounded, stable and full of common sense?
• Do you love being surrounded by nature?
• Do you like gardening or working with wood?
Air
• Are you a dreamer, a visionary or a thinker?
• Do you find it invigorating to stand in a strong wind?
• Do you love being out in the fresh air, or do you always keep your windows open because that way you feel you can breathe?
Water
• Are you easily swayed by your emotions or intuition?
• Do you love being beside a river or the sea?
• Are you affected by the phases of the Moon?
• Do you enjoy soaking in a bath?
Step 2: Balance your different elements
Each element possesses unique properties and characteristics, and I recommend utilising these as effective, practical tools to balance your energy, as described below.
Fire
After being exposed to toxic energy, light an open fire (if you have one) and sit next to it while you meditate on the flames. Alternatively, you can light a candle and meditate while looking at the burning flame. If you know exactly what’s draining your energy or making you feed off other people’s energy, write it down in detail on a sheet of paper. Now place the paper in the fireplace or a metal bucket and set light to it with a match. Watch as it burns – almost as an act of meditation – until only ashes are left. Charcoal tablets are also useful for this purpose because they smoke when lit. Place a couple in the top of an essential oil burner, or an old dish or saucer, and set light to them. If you wish, you can add a sprig of dried sage to each one, so it ‘smudges’ the atmosphere as the charcoal tablet burns. Finally, here’s a very simple but effective meditative exercise that you can do anywhere. Feel your pulse by placing the tips of your right hand on your left wrist, just below the base of your thumb. You’ll know you’ve found the right spot when you can feel your pulse throbbing. Sit calmly and think about the warm blood rushing through your body, filling you with its life‑giving energy. Just rest for a while on the waves of your pulse. This is also a great exercise to practise if you feel that the energy of your environment is threatening your unique frequency.
Earth
Following a negative exchange, go into the garden, if you have one, and do some gardening. Instead of wearing protective gloves, let your skin connect with the soil. It will absorb any negative energies and you’ll soon feel grounded and peaceful. Try some barefoot walking. Ideally, you should do this outside, on a patch of grass. If that’s not possible, walk around barefoot indoors, especially if you have wooden floors. How about hugging a tree? If there’s one in your garden, wrap your arms around it, so that your energy begins to resonate with that of the tree. You can do this in a park or a wood if you prefer. If you feel self‑conscious about hugging a tree in public, sit so close to it that your spine, from your coccyx to the top of your neck, is in contact with its bark.
Air
If you resonate with the element of air, you can practise some 3‑3‑3 breathing to reset your energy after an energy attack. All you need to do is inhale through your nose to the count of three, hold your breath to the count of three and then exhale through your mouth to the count of three. Do this for a couple of minutes at a time. When you inhale, try to expand your ribcage sideways, almost as though it’s an accordion; and when you exhale, do it through your mouth, almost as though you’re sighing. After a heated argument or a tough meeting, open the windows in the room and allow the outside air to flood in. This is even better if a gentle breeze is blowing. Let the movement of air blow away your own negative energy and clean the energy of the room at the same time. Not everyone enjoys or tolerates the scent of joss sticks, but if you do you can light one and let it gently clean the air around you. Frankincense is perfect, whether you burn it as incense or use a few pieces of frankincense resin, because it disperses clusters of negative energy and increases your breathing capacity. If you’re lucky enough to live in the country, go outside when it’s breezy and surrender to the wind. Let it blow through your hair.
Water
Immediately after a conflict, or when you’re feeling drained by others, go for a swim or sit beside some running water, such as a stream or river, or simply a running tap. Imagine that all your attached negative energy is being swept away by the current of the water; and that you’re synchronising with the sound of running water.
Another great option is to take a shower. The temperature of the water doesn’t matter, so you can have it as cold or as hot as you want. What you must do, though, is ensure that the water cascades over the crown of your head downwards, so it takes all the toxic energy away with it. You’ll need a large volume of water for this exercise, so tip a large bowl or bucket of water over your head if your showerhead is small. Engage with the water and hold to your intention of cleansing. In your mind, ask the water to absorb and wash away all the negative energy that you’ve accumulated. If it’s not convenient for you to take a shower, you can fill a sink or large bowl with water. Cup both hands, scoop up the water and splash your face with it. Keep scooping, and allow the water to run down your face until you feel lighter. Pat your face dry with a clean towel.
If you’re short of time but need instant help, you can mindfully drink a glass of water. Fill a glass with water that’s slightly cooler than the temperature of the room. Sit down and relax, slowly sip the water, and mentally follow its path as it travels down your oesophagus into your stomach. Be really mindful of how the water travels through your chest. Finish drinking the glass of water and keep observing the sensations left by the flowing water. This is a helpful and quick way of recalibrating your energy when you’re at work.
You could also make some crystal water. Buy a clear glass atomiser, place some small pieces of crystal in it – those that resonate most powerfully with water are amethyst and aquamarine – and fill it with water. Place the atomiser on a sunny windowsill, so the sun’s rays can penetrate it. Leave it there for several hours, after which it’ll be ready for use. Spray your personal space liberally with the crystal water whenever you feel you’re about to switch to an energy vampire state, and this will help to prevent it from happening. When your atomiser is empty, tip out the crystals, rinse them and the bottle thoroughly under a running tap and then refill it using the same method as before.
