Wellbeing

Breaking taboo: What really happens at a tantra yoga retreat

Find out what happened when our writer, Rae Delanie Passfield, went to the School of Sensual Arts’ Winter Spa Retreat

There’s no denying it: tantra yoga is a taboo topic. This eastern wisdom is widely interpreted in the west as something that’s vaguely spiritual but predominantly misunderstood as being a ‘type’ of sexual experience.

“Is it a sex thing?” my friend asked, wide-eyed with concern as I mentioned my weekend plans to attend the School of Sensual Arts’ tantra yoga winter retreat at Champneys Spa in Tring, proving the point.

“No, it’s not a sex thing. There’s a lot of misconception about tantra,” I reassured my friend. Having dipped my toe into the subject, I understood that the ancient practice of tantra is said to awaken our senses and receptivity, which can apply to sex, but is certainly not limited to it.

But in all honestly, I didn’t quite know what to expect from a full day of deep diving into tantric practice with a group of people I had never met.

Even as someone with curiosity and open-mindedness, it felt edgy to attend an event like this.What unfolded was a truly nourishing, wholesome and inspiring day of self-inquiry, expression, community and playfulness.

Here’s what I learned from the experience.

Tantra starts with safety

My first impression meeting the School of Sensual Arts (SOSA) teachers, Henika and Manoj, was of warmth and genuine kindness.

Henika, who grew up with a spiritual tantric practice inherited from her grandmother, welcomed myself and the other retreat goers as though we were all lifelong friends. Her grace and warmth immediately putting everyone at ease.

The SOSA Winter Spa Retreat is held at Champneys Spa in Tring – a Natural Health award-winner – so the luxurious space and relaxed atmosphere of the venue really set the tone for the day ahead. To begin, we were invited to sit in a circle in a grand yet peaceful room, flooded with natural light and decorated with ornate touches.

“The best way to understand what tantra really is, is to experience it for yourself,” Henika said to the group, with a knowing smile. “I am so happy to be able to share these practices that will help you to access the wellspring of wisdom that’s available through the body,” she said.

Henika and Manoj explained there are three pillars to the practice of tantra: breath, sound and movement. We would be exploring all three throughout the day, with the intention of connecting to our own sense of self, providing an “inner flame” of self-love that would serve as a personal resource for soothing and empowerment.

“If, at any time, you feel you are not comfortable, or wish to take a break, please feel free to step out of the practice and take the space you need,” Manoj reassured us.

Any nervous energy within the group melted away. We each introduced ourselves and shared our personal reason for being here; from healing heartbreak to wanting to experience more joy in life, I was moved by the openness with which each person expressed and the level of safety and community that quickly formed.

Feeling is freeing

For the next couple of hours, we were guided through a “journey to the heart” which involved various forms of movement, expression, role play and, quite frankly, silliness that’s said to help us to drop in to our most authentic selves.

At one stage, we each pretended to be animals in the wild. Later, we were invited to move like ninjas to the Mission Impossible soundtrack. If you think this sounds weird, it was – but it was also wildly fun and liberating.

Henika explains: “This is one of our signature SOSA Celebrations, it’s a unique combination of practices which invite us to drop the masks and responsibilities we wear in the outside world and exchange them for a workshop of freedom and expression.

“We share different practices in each of the stages which work on the different emotional, physical and spiritual centres of the body and invite us to walk towards any blocks we may feel along the way with safety and tools to expand through them,” she says.

One of the more serious tantric practices we explored during this session was eye gazing. In pairs, we were invited to look into the eye of the other person, simultaneously looking beyond the person’s “masks” while dropping your own and allowing yourself to be truly seen.

“The eye gazing ritual is based on a traditional tantric technique whereby through connecting with others, beyond the physical form, we are able to more deeply connect with our own hearts,” Henika explains.

“It allows us to dissolve boundaries of judgement, fear and distinction which can keep us isolated from others and invites us to experience true tantric connection based on love, respect and compassion.”

The good, the bad and the ugly: it’s all tantra

Time and time again, we were invited to express sound and movement intuitively, without judgment or overthinking it. Even “ugly” facial expressions were encouraged, as in one practice we took it in turns to act out a full-on toddler tantrum.

“Tantra is the path of love and acceptance. It is profound in helping us to accept ourselves for who we are, the good, the seemingly ‘bad’ and the ugly,” Henika explains.

Screaming wildly and stomping my feet, once I got beyond the self-consciousness that (naturally) popped up, it felt really good to express in this unrestrained way.

“Tantra can help us in our personal development – whether it’s finding more self-love, self-worth and confidence, healing and restoring safety in the body and mind after traumatic experiences or expanding connection to your life, love and relationships,” Henika says.

“It can also help us to look at those sticky parts which some spiritual paths ignore, such as anger, sex, repression, shame, addiction, guilt to name a few, it weaves these elements into a part of our existence so that we can experience ourselves as whole and complete as we are. It is a path which restores a sense of deep adoration, creativity and celebration for living.”

Integration is important

The remainder of the day was rooted in slowness and nourishment. Henika and Manoj guided us through a traditional tantra yoga class. The sequence, much like a slow Vinyasa flow, included grounding and heart-opening poses that felt expansive and strong.

“In tantra, the heart-space, known as ‘anahata’, is the transformative centre. In the same way that the heart regulates blood flow, taking in old blood and pumping fresh blood to the cells and muscles which need it, it also does the same for our energetic and emotional body. We work with the heart centre to feel, to expand and to transform,” Henika explains.

After a delicious, healthy lunch in the Champneys restaurant, we had some free time to indulge in the spa facilities, including the swimming pool, sauna, steam room and outdoor hot tub. I also enjoyed a 50-minute signature treatment, Champneys Body Ritual, which included a dreamy hot-stone massage. After which, I floated to the final session of the day – the sound bath.

In a candle-lit room, we were invited to lay down and relax as Manoj masterfully created layers of spine-tingling sounds with several shining gongs. As you relax into the experience, the sound creates an almost trance-like state, where you are somewhere between sleep and wakefulness. It’s deeply restorative.

“At the end of what may have been an intense and eye-opening experience for our guests, the sacred sound journey was a way of clearing the energetic channels in the body and bring the whole day together into a period of relaxation and bliss in the whole group,” Manoj explains. “This space was a place of surrender and a way to integrate all of our efforts and revelations from throughout the whole day.”

Pleasure is our birthright

My key takeaway from the SOSA Winter Spa Retreat, was that devoting a whole day to my own sensations, emotions and nourishment is in no way indulgent; it’s deep work that has great potential for enhancing our relationship with ourselves and with others.

“I am really proud to be an educator of tantra, yoga and sensuality,” Henika says. “Through the School of Sensual Arts, I hope to return tantra back to a way of life for us to experience and enjoy our bodies, minds and sensual spirits in safety, love and freedom.”

To find out more about the School of Sensual Arts and the next tantra yoga retreat, visit the website and stay up to date with Henika via Instagram.

Images by Ste Marques.