Holistic healing

Life Love

Our monthly look at the world of love, friendship, sex and relationships

A Caring Society

Forget alpha males, what women really want is a meek provider, according to a US study.Researchers at the University of Tennessee found this stems from a sexual revolution amongst our primitive ancestors when stronger males used to win mating rights. However, the lower-ranking males who had no chance of winning cottoned on to providing food and care instead, which proved a great success with the ladies!

Walk this way

Make sure you walk tall as a survey has found that people can tell a woman’s sexual history from the way she moves! Belgian researchers watched videos of women walking, and were able to tell whether they regularly had orgasms from intercourse. The researchers think that, as well as having an effect on your mental health, orgasms can ‘loosen’ certain muscle groups, which could affect your stride.

Get ‘em while THEY’RE HOT!

If you’re looking for a new man in your life, bag yourself a 33-year-old, ladies!

A new survey conducted by online retailer lovehoney.co.uk suggests that women enjoy the best sex of their lives at 28 while their male counterparts don’t reach their sexual peak until the age of 33. The findings come in complete opposition to previous research stating that men peak at 18 and women at 30. “Like most things, sex gets better the more you do it and the more practised you are at it,” says sex and relationship expert Tracey Cox. “So it makes sense for men to behaving better sex at 33 rather than 18. It takes time to learn how to control their orgasms and to fathom the complex female sexual system.”

Bed Head

Think carefully next time you hog the covers as it is the number one cause of arguments in Britain’s bedrooms, according to a study. A whopping one in ten adults said they would consider leaving their partner because disturbed nights had become such an issue in their relationship. Researchers for the survey conducted for Premier Inns found that snoring was the second most common cause of bedtime arguments, with one in ten couples falling out over it at least twice a week.

How sex will change your brain – for the better!

We all know that having sex with someone can be a profound experience – for better or worse. But why is that? When we connect sexually with someone we are doing no less than rewiring our brains. We’ve all heard that we don’t grow new brain cells after a certain age. However what is less well known is how much plasticity the brain has –this means how much we can change and reform the neural networks within it.

Psychologists and neuroscientists have studied how the brain changes and develops new neural networks which have a positive impact on an individual. They have determined that there are seven criteria for positive neural change. The first of these is having intense moments of connection with another person. We are relational beings and we grow when in connection with others. The second factor is having moderate levels of emotional arousal or stress which are interspersed with periods of calm. As Harry Lime says in the film The Third Man: “In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had 500 years of peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.” Excitement and fear are physiologically the same, only our interpretation of their meaning makes them different – think about how people either love or hate fair-ground roller-coasters.

Re-wire your brain.

It is important that experiences stimulate a lot of neural activity.Orgasm fires up multiple parts of the brain and sex is something which we usually feel in heart, mind and body.Having a strong connection with another and feeling that there is an alliance between you also plays a significant role in developing new neural pathways, as does giving your experience positive meaning. If we categorise our experience as positive it tends to have a positive impact on the brain.

Try the unknown

The last of these criteria is being introduced to new concepts which include emotional and physical experience. If we always engage within the limits of our existing experience, we will continue to have the same experiences. When we try something new, we gain new experience and with it neural growth. Think about learning the piano. At first it is hard work but gradually we become more accomplished and it becomes easier. This is because our brain is growing new neural networks. The same is true for sex, especially if we can bring ourselves to try new things.In order to evolve our brains we need to meet these seven criteria frequently, intensely and preferably simultaneously. New sexual experience is one way in which we can produce all seven of these factors at once, thus helping our brains evolve. So have more sex and help your brain evolve!

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