Holistic healing

You Need To Know About Walt Disney Syndrome In Relationships

Mike Lousada, the UKs leading psychosexual healer, looks at what this is and how to avoid it ruining your relationship

Why do most relationships fail is one of the questions I most often get asked. Of course there are many reasons but one of the key ones is what one commentator has called Walt Disney Syndrome. In the classic Walt Disney fairytale, the princess is waiting to be rescued by the handsome prince. Unfortunately this message of passivity is one that many women have taken on and so sit there waiting for a man to come and rescue them. This is equally true in sex as it is in relationships.

Some women blame their lack of orgasmic response on their partners. However, I take a different perspective on this issue. Guys – I’ve got bad news for you: you’ve never given a woman an orgasm! In fact the orgasm is hers – how can you give her something she already has? All we can do as men is create a safe enough space to allow the women’s natural orgasmic response to arise and be experienced.

Ladies – the good and bad news is this means that if you want to experience mind-blowing orgasms, you have to take responsibility for them. But incredibly good news as it means that you are in charge of the event! When women take more responsibility for their sexual experience they also take the pressure off men to perform – something by which a lot of men feel heavily burdened.

It’s time to speak out

One way to improve this is for each of us to let the other know what we want in sex. Good sex requires good communication and the more we are able to communicate our desires to our partner, the more likely we are to have them met. So ladies, please speak up! It is a great relief for most men to be told what their woman wants as it stops him from guessing. Since each woman responds differently to touch, even an experienced lover may not be able to know what the woman wants.

Waiting passively for a prince to come and rescue you is a sure-fire way to give away your power. It is only by speaking out, by communicating your desires and by asking for what you want that we can truly get what we desire.

In the fairy story, Rapunzel had beautiful long golden locks. Instead of waiting for the prince to come and rescue her, she should have tied her own hair to the bedpost and let herself out of her prison. It is only when women do this for themselves that they will set themselves free.

For more info on psychosexual therapy and bodywork go to mikelousada.com

Article by

Mike Lousada

Psychosexual Therapist